I hate what I did 12 years ago---8 years ago---6 years ago. I hate it. I'm very glad I hate it. That means I am changing. That means I have changed. God, my loving guide gives me grace to live with it. I am humbled. I humble myself before his mighty power and he lifts me up in due time. Many days I'm not sure I can live. Then I humble myself before him. I feel so bad for the pain I caused. I am reminded every hour, minute---memories. Humble myself. I am not the one who lifts myself up. God does that in his time.